Michelle Obama threatens to divorce
Barack Obama if he tries to seek second term
October 3rd, 2010
Michelle Obama has threatened to divorce Barack Obama if he tries to seek a second term as president. That is the report according to well-placed and insider sources from the National Enquirer, who work in the nation's capital. This report of strife and all-out threat-making in the Obamas' marriage is not the first time that reports have arisen, which detail that not everything is well in Obamaland. Earlier this year, reports emerged that Barack Obama himself—also known by liberals everywhere as either "The Messiah" or "The One"—had engaged in a sordid affair with none other than a former campaign aide by the name of Vera Baker. While there have only been reports of said alleged affair, if true, it would mean that the apple did not fall far from the tree, seeing as how Barack Obama Senior (anti-colonial socialist that he was) had many affairs himself.
According to the
Enquirer's reporting, the Obamas' marital spat happened just recently, after they had returned with their little daughters in tow from their "well-deserved" vacation on Martha's Vineyard (during which time America continued to suffer from double-digit unemployment, uncontrolled illegal immigrants encroaching into the country, and increasing, rising costs of health care insurance). During their spat, Michelle was reported to have broken down in tears—so fed up was she with Barack—and climaxed the quarrel by screaming, "I hate you for dragging me through all this…I've had enough!"
If this report accurately details what occurred between the Obamas, then sympathy is in order for Michelle. After all, poor baby, she has had it really hard considering all those lavish trips to Spain for vacation (while many Americans struggled with double-digit unemployment stateside), volunteering at food banks while
wearing her ultra-trendy $540 dollar sneakers (while more Americans continue stopping looking for work), and defaming America as a mean country!
Still, it was not clear what Michelle was allegedly chiding Barack for as it relates to "dragging" her "through all this." Was she
upset over Barack dragging her through his embarrassing and stunning fall in his approval numbers? Or was she merely upset with Barack for dragging her through the Joe Sestak scandal, where the White House reportedly sent Bill "I never met a Monica I didn't like" Clinton to offer a job to Sestak in exchange for pulling out of his race in Pennsylvania? Perhaps, Michelle was merely upset with Barack for only taking her out on a date four nights a week instead of five…we don't really know because the report does not give further details.
Reports of this marital difficulty come at a
horrendous time for Obama, who is already facing certain loss of Congress and, with that, a total retardation of his domestic priorities (you know, things like more wealth redistribution and even more White House-initiated campaigns to clobber Fox News!). With everybody abandoning the sinking ship known as the Obama Administration—just in the last several weeks: Budget Director Peter Orzag (failed on the economy), economic adviser Christina Romer (also failed on the economy), and former Chief-of-staff Rahm Emanuel (who was fond of
mailing dead fish to political enemies as a creepy scare tactic)—Obama certainly does not need supposed marital strife to add to his long list of personal and professional problems.
And before any
liberal or Democrat reactionaries get their knickers all bent out of shape because this report comes from the National Enquirer, consider this. The Enquirer, today, is more reliable and less biased than the dishonest yellow journalism that passes as "news" from the major networks and the big papers like the New York Times. After all, while the aforementioned, mainstream media was concealing John Edwards' scandalous, extramarital affair, only the National Enquirer
diligently continued to report on it until the dishonorable Edwards finally had no choice but to admit his infidelity publicly. Thus, the track record of the Enquirer on big, political stories is actually quite solid. Just think of that, libs.
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